Deviations

With all this talk about how your desires will indeed manifest themselves into reality, I manifested a terrible one over the weekend.  I hate that it had to happen that way.  And now I'm in full emotional attack since it happened.  That is scary because it will just continue falling apart as long as I have falling apart thoughts about it all.  

But then again, why do people have to be so rude?  Why can't everyone (this is my Pollyanna coming out) just be nice to one another and respect other people's situations?  Why are some people so locked up in their own misery that they have to take it out on other people?  

I didn't do anything to you.  I knew from the beginning not to trust you, and I am so glad that I trusted that feeling because here is tangible proof.  The power of the gut feeling and intuition is just fantastic.  Everyone is trying to find excuse after excuse to allow for this behavior to be acceptable.  

NO.  

THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR.  

I need to relax because karma is a bitch.  No matter how hard you try to fight it, this negative energy will come back in some form.  Again.  But the same goes for myself.  I need to drop this.  All of this.  I need to let go and forgive.  But I don't have to be her friend and I don't plan on it.  I'm writing that down here.  I don't even want to kill her with kindness.  I won't do it.  I don't even want to look her in the eye.  I have no respect, not even in it's smallest measurement, towards her.  But I am only making things worse for my internal state.  So let this be the final word on the issue and I'm moving on.