Oh I was so wrong. And the longer I am going without that 9-5, the more this is fleeing from my grasp. For 18 or so years, every year was mapped out the same way. School from September to May, summer break from June to August. Rinse and repeat. Now it's almost October and I have no routine. It was planned out and expected of me to follow this. Now that the repetition is gone, I am more confused than ever.
This finding a job thing is hard. Growing up is even harder. Maybe with a real job that will just come naturally. But that's my excuse for why I'm not doing it now. I'm paying my bills, cleaning up my own house, etc, doing all the actions, but my personality is much like a child. This is rather disappointing. I was on such a great trajectory toward being an awesome person. Then I got lazy. And now all I am is lazy. And immature.